Addicted?

I think I'm addicted to dieting. Seriously. Read this (from http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/addiction_hijacks_brain.htm) 

The word “addiction” is derived from a Latin term for “enslaved by” or “bound to.”...Addiction exerts a long and powerful influence on the brain that manifests in three distinct ways: craving for the object of addiction, loss of control over its use, and continuing involvement with it despite adverse consequences.. addiction hijacks the brain. This happens as the brain goes through a series of changes, beginning with recognition of pleasure and ending with a drive toward compulsive behaviour....he brain registers all pleasures in the same way, whether they originate with a psychoactive drug, a monetary reward, a sexual encounter, or a satisfying meal. In the brain, pleasure has a distinct signature: the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the nucleus accumbens, a cluster of nerve cells lying underneath the cerebral cortex (see illustration). Dopamine release in the nucleus accumbens is so consistently tied with pleasure that neuroscientists refer to the region as the brain’s pleasure center....All drugs of abuse, from nicotine to heroin, cause a particularly powerful surge of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens. The likelihood that the use of a drug or participation in a rewarding activity will lead to addiction is directly linked to the speed with which it promotes dopamine release, the intensity of that release, and the reliability of that release... Addictive drugs provide a shortcut to the brain’s reward system by flooding the nucleus accumbens with dopamine. The hippocampus lays down memories of this rapid sense of satisfaction, and the amygdala creates a conditioned response to certain stimuli.

The reward circuit in the brain includes areas involved with motivation and memory as well as with pleasure. Addictive substances and behaviors stimulate the same circuit—and then overload it.
Repeated exposure to an addictive substance or behavior causes nerve cells in the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex (the area of the brain involved in planning and executing tasks) to communicate in a way that couples liking something with wanting it, in turn driving us to go after it. That is, this process motivates us to take action to seek out the source of pleasure.

And the most damning bit of all.. A “yes” answer to any of the following three questions suggests you might have a problem with addiction and should—at the very least—consult a health care provider for further evaluation and guidance.

• Do you use more of the substance or engage in the behavior more often than in the past? YES
• Do you have withdrawal symptoms when you don’t have the substance or engage in the behaviour? YES
• Have you ever lied to anyone about your use of the substance or extent of your behaviour? YES

Okay I do not want anyone to think I am minimising the seriousness of addiction (if anyone even reads this!) but I'm being serious. Being a student of psychology I fully understand that you CANNOT diagnose a mental illness or addiction using an internet info page, but I have been thinking about this for some time. I don't actually know the links between disordered eating and addiction, so I'll be interested in finding out, but I really think I'm addicted to dieting. 

In the intro paragraph it says:

* craving for the object of addiction - I guess the way I want to diet could be considered a craving. I think about it a lot. I convince myself it's a good idea even when I know it's not. 

* Loss of control over its use - I guess diets are used to lose weight, but I use them as a form of control, of punishment, of dealing with problems

* Continuing involvement with it despite adverse consequences - does putting on weight, hating yourself, believing you're a failure and becoming a depressed sad sack count?

I've eaten SO. MANY. CARBS. TODAY. I'm like a bottomless pit. It is TTOM but seriously. I have a huge urge to write down what I ate today, and I just did it but then I deleted it. I don't want this blog to be about my crazy eating disordered mind, I want it to be about me overcoming it!! The biggest problem is that to overcome the need to diet I need to overcome the need to look a certain way. And I think that will be VERY difficult.