Jeez. So I got totally sucked in again. I watched all these YouTube videos and everyone's so happy and loves their fruit and I love fruit too! So I figured I should just have fruit for breakfast. So I did that a couple of days then I thought today was a good day to go fully raw. So I had 2L of fresh orange juice for breakfast and resisted a coffee at work, and I told myself I'd just see how I feel. Well, I started falling asleep driving after my OJ and I was STARVING after work which was only 1 hour since I finished the juice. Both of which indicate to me a low blood sugar. Anyway, I was driving home and realised I was being silly. This was just another diet. This would not be any easier this time. This would not lead to eternal happiness and a feeling of belonging. So I bought a medium coffee on the way home and had exactly what I wanted for lunch - a toasted sandwich and some scrambled eggs followed by a chai tea.
I really need to remember that health isn't just about what you put in your body. It's also your relationship with food, and I have a great relationship with food if I'm not restricting. I don't go overboard, and I mostly want healthier foods. So I need to remember this.
I think I need to cancel Instagram and stay off Youtube for a while, it's the only way.
On the way home I listened to this radio interview of a pro skateboarder who became a drug addict, and he said he's clean and much happier now but it's still a struggle sometimes and he needs to know his triggers and to avoid them. Well, it's the same with me. Watching YouTube videos of skinny people wearing no clothes advocating a VERY restrictive DIET is a major trigger, what am I thinking? I get so upset with my friend who has anorexia for over exercising but who am I to judge when I do things like this?
So, I think it's now 2 weeks into my no diets plan.. we'll see how i go for the next 10 weeks!
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