No diets for 3 months.

So I deleted my Youtube videos. I just couldn't do it. Too embarrassing. Maybe once I've been doing this a bit longer.

Anyway, I have been sucked in to watching lots of 801010 raw vegans on youtube and I just keep thinking 'Oh, I didn't give 801010 a proper go. They're all so happy!! I should try it again, just commit for 3 months straight and see how I feel' but then I realised I should COMMIT TO THIS for 3 months first! It's hard right now because I feel like I'm putting on weight and eating unhealthy food (breakfast was a mixture of strawberry kefir with vanilla greek yogurt, gluten free muesli and a banana; lunch a wholegrain wrap with avo, cheese and ham, snack watermelon & pineapple and a few squares of dark chocolate and dinner will be roast lamb & veg so actually I'm eating HEALTHY). Anyway, I know that this will only work if I give it enough of a go.
I remember last time I tried 801010 and I said to myself, if it doesn't work out I can always just go back to eating according to my intuition and I'll feel okay again but I never give intuitive eating enough of a try for it to calm down. I always have to go through the period of referring where I eat all the foods I've restricted. To be fair to myself, I haven't binged in SUCH A LONG TIME I can't even remember, so that's really a start.

So my deal with myself is that I'm going to give intuitive eating a go for 3 months. I watch these 801010 videos and think, oh but those smoothies look so yum. With intuitive eating I can eat those smoothies! It just means I'm not committing to something with rules that I have to do for the rest of my life. And it's cold and winter and all I want to eat is warm food. In my head I think, I could have a watermelon for breakfast, and yes it's delicious and sweet but sometimes I want other things and it's not as fun after a while when you have no other options. So yes, I am certain this is the thing to do - 12 weeks of NO DIETS. No restricting, no rules, just eating according to my appetite. I think it will do me a world of good. Already I'm not wanting as much bread and processed carbs. Last night I felt really full and gluggy and I don't like feeling that way, so I've made other choices today like fruit for snack and it really helps. I know the challenge will be AVOIDING the 801010 videos because everyone on the lifestyle just seems so happy.
There's a you tuber called Raw Nourishment and she said she started 801010 because she had acne and she watched the videos and she loved the outlook on life raw foodists have, and i realised that's one of the reasons I like it too. So I've decided I'm going to have that outlook anyway.

I remember a couple of times after I've been restricting and I go out to dinner and decide to have something that breaks the rules and momentarily it makes me so happy. I feel free and relaxed as though there's no pressure to look a certain way, pressure from myself anyway, and it feels great. So I know i've just got to keep this going, like with ANY DIET it's the consistency that makes a difference. So off i go. I'm going to count it from the first post I made on here, so I think it's been a week!