So I had this realization today. James and I have been fighting and it made me so anxious to think about if we split up, and also if he doesn't love m.. but I realised oh if someone else likes me it's none of my business. Even if James loves me or not, it's none of my business. I have finally realised I can't control someone else's feelings towards me. I can try to control them, by doing artificial, incongruous actions that I think will impress them, but truly deep down I don't know. I don't know why James loves me - if it was my decision I'd say it was my looks, but then I don't think that much of my looks so sort of think it's not that. But either way, it's only a guess.
Sometimes I don't even know if others know why they love other people, I can't particularly nail down certain reasons i love james, I just do.. and for that reason I've realised IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS!! It would make me sad if he no longer loved me, hell I'd be devastated but that feeling he has towards me, it's none of my business. It's not something in my circle of influence, it's not something I can control beyond being a good human... and it was very liberating to realise that!
No comments:
Post a Comment