Monday, 13 October 2014

It's been a while..

So really I'm at this impasse (maybe that's not a real word) and I am not having a good day. I've realised by now that these bad days come, but then they also go. So I really just have to ride it out. Some days, I guess, things are just a lot harder. I definately think one of the problems I have is that I set myself too many goals. There is not one area in my life that I am 'maintaining'. I am doing uni, which is constantly striving for good marks and achievement'; my business is still not making enough time to warrant 'maintaining' so that's something I'm striving to improve (although, honestly, it takes me about 2 hours a week of work so who's complaining?); I am getting married in 3 months so I feel I really need to get a few things straight in my relationship AND I will just be devastated if I have fat arms and back fat on my wedding day. Since I don't know how to maintain my weight and I certainly don't want to gain (plus I have a few kgs to lose) I really need to just stick to something once and for all and DO IT. But as you can see, everything in my life is a constant need to be better, stronger, lighter, smaller, smarter, richer.. in no part of my life am I just going 'you know what, here I am, this is me, everything is fine' but then I don't even know if I'd be okay with that.

For a second let's just imagine I have already achieved everything I want:

1. I've finished my degree
2. My business is raking in the cash and I'm at the top
3. I'm finally at my 'goal' weight
4. My relationship is just perfect

What do I do? How do I spend my day? I'll tell you how - doing another degree, striving for more within my business, maintaining that body and maintaining that relationship. I don't think maintenance of something and aiming to get it are all that different - really I think to get somewhere you do what you'd be doing if you were already there. If I had a great body it would be because I walk every day, go to the gym, and nourish my body with healthy food. If I had finished my degree with Honours I'd be working in the field - constantly challenging myself; If I'd reached top status in my business I'd have a huge team below me and I'd be maintaining that status - which means I'd be doing everything I need to do now to get there. I guess the thing is, if you're not happy with things in the now, then you need to make them better, but with that comes consequences and payoffs. You will need to study, work harder, have less recreation time, eat less food, say 'no' to naughty food more often, go to the gym daily, walk every day, and socialise in ways that don't involve alcohol. If you're happy doing all those things, then you have to be happy dealing with the consequences - low mood, no energy, not enough money, don't fit in clothes, spend weekends hung over, working in a job you hate. I guess you just need to choose which consequence you want?

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